Made me think of so many people.
May 31, 2010
“Rise and rise again,
May 23, 2010
New tattoo idea. I got it from Robin Hood, ha. Nerd. 🙂 Whether or not I do it will depend, because I’m definitely getting my feet before anything and I probably won’t get any more before August, when I’m supposed to leave. AmeriCorps hasn’t contacted me yet. I’m getting nervous. I’m accepted but my health information was supposed to have arrived awile ago. On the plus side of adulthood, I’ve been blowing through my money that was for my cell phone thanks to the world of debit cards. I pre-ordered American Slang, bought a dress for graduation, Subway, flip flops, went to a movie with Tyler and Logan, and will need money from the ATM for the week. All things I don’t completely need, but decided I wanted enough anyway. Sooo I have maybe $40 in my bank account? Sweet. =,= Ah well, I get paid this week. For the most part I’ve practiced self-control with it. Assuming I don’t get fired anytime soon, I should be able to cut my losses. Being an adult makes me feel guilty for my spending habits. Perhaps I will change them. This blog is a lot longer than I intended it to be. Seriously, I’m getting carried away babbling and I should be writing a final paper right now. BAIII.
The blood was dry, it was sober.
The feeling of audible cracks.
And I could tell it was over
from the curtains that hung from your neck.
And I realized that then, you were perfect
with my teeth ripping out of my head.
And it looked like a painting I once knew
back when my thoughts were not the leak intact.
Basically.
May 20, 2010
I had a really good day. I’m nearing exhaustion, but I’m even closer to the end. I hope I never stop loving interracting with people. I enjoy my job a lot.
DONE.
May 16, 2010
Collegiate Semi 2007: Sucked.
Collegiate Semi 2008: Sucked.
SV Prom 2009: Couldn’t go.
Collegiate Prom 2009: Got kicked out after 5 minutes.
SV Homecoming 2010: Sucked, got ditched.
SV Prom 2010: Date cancelled the week before.
McDowell Prom 2010: Missed over half of it.
Last night was probably the worst night I’ve had in at least 6 years. The service at Aoyama was so bad, we waited two and a half hours with a reservation to get food. We watched tables that arrived an hour after us get served first, and they forgot half of our appetizers, and my entire meal. We only stayed that late because we were all starving. Not that it mattered, I didn’t get food. I have never been treated with such ignorance by a GROWN MAN that calls himself “a manager.” We showed up at prom at 10 when it ended at 11. I sat at a table by myself the entire hour because no one could find me because I don’t have a cell phone. I cried all night, including when I was there. I’m seriously done. My entire dream since I was a little kid was to feel like a princess at prom, be prom queen, have the best experience to end high school. That isn’t difficult. Everyone else gets it. But no, me? I get denied every chance I get to have an enjoyable experience. Yeah, WAH WAH, big deal right? No, it’s not me being whiny. This was all I wanted and all I had and it sucked for everyone. It doesn’t help that my mom’s being a retard about it. She tried to blame it on Ali and say it has nothing to do with me not having a phone, when I didn’t even bring that up. I hate everyone that told me I “SHOULD HAVE HAD FUN” with that remaining hour. Because after three hours of complete garbage, THAT’S REALLY EASY TO GO TO A RANDOM SCHOOL’S PROM AND ENJOY IT. Because when you lose your group of people and you see no one you know, there’s more to do than walk around like an idiot looking for them and sit alone. This has happened too many times for me to ignore it this time, and it was only not a waste because I did meet some funny kids at the beginning of the night, and because I was with people I never see. I kind of hate everything right now. And I never hate anything. I’m allowed to have an emo blog occasionally, okay? I miss Joshua, and Liv. I dropped off the face of the earth to them. I want it all back.
THE CESSATION OF DESIRE MEANT THE CESSATION OF SUFFERING.
Don’t worry, Tim,
May 9, 2010
I obviously didn’t forget a picture of you and the boys even though the last post was all about how much I wanna meet you. It just didn’t cooperate in fitting in the same post with Brian. I don’t know, maybe you guys have some band war I never knew about. Lord of the fries? You’re all so silly.
“Real revolution begins at learning. If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.”
-From the jacket of Rise Against’s The Sufferer and the Witness
Take a load off.
May 9, 2010
I feel like they’re really amazing people. I could be wrong, of course. But something tells me they’re all just these amazing, fun, grounded guys. My goal in life used to be to meet Ryan Sheckler, simply for the shallow reason that he’s adorable. It’s now to meet Brian Fallon and Tim McIlrath. Actually I’d be content with even coming within a mile radius of any members of their bands, but I’d feel guilty because I have a thing for lead singers. Rise Against has ONE performance in the U.S. before they’re back to Europe at the end of this month. I’m trying my butt off to get there.
“Sometimes I wish I didn’t look so deeply into everything, but I do. I can’t do small talk – I never talk to people about the weather or what I’ve seen on TV. I’m much happier writing about bigger topics, heavier stuff, because that is where the communication is. That’s where you can talk to others and discover: I’m broken and so are you.”
-Brian Fallon
T.S. Eliot!
May 6, 2010
S`io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.
Straight edge goes deeper than my grave.
May 1, 2010
SUPP WIT IT VANILLA FACE.