You’ve read that I’ll be gone.
Bit if you call my name just know that I’ll come running, for one more night to spare with you.



March 27, 2010

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake and dress them in warm clothes again.
How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running until they forget that they are horses.
It’s not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere, it’s more like a song on a policeman’s radio, how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple to slice into pieces.
Look at the light through the windowpane.
That means it’s noon, that means we’re inconsolable.
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, posessed by light.
Tell me we’ll never get used to it.

Love, too, will ruin us.

is it so wrong to be afraid?

Blog, I have a confession to make. I actually was holding out on you because I was supposed to get my new glasses this week and wanted to post a picture. But I was just informed today that’s not happening until a week from now. :/ Laaaaaame. In other news, there isn’t much going on. A little disappointment here and there, nothing worth fretting over.
I ordered this really pretty new dress for my friend Tiana’s 18th birthday dinner this week, and I’m dressing up really nice in another dress to go to a fancy luncheon for my Medal of Honor class on Thursday! I’m such a lady this week. ;] I have a large amount of frustration building up due to my need of, and inability to get, a job. I’m suddenly concerned with my grades and it occured to me that there is a strong possibility that I’ll want to get an AS in public relations after Americorps. For the first time in my entire high school life, I’m worried about actually being able to get into someplace that isn’t around here. I hate every college here but I feel like my entire record is too average to even try for someplace in Pittsburgh or Philly. But I think I should worry about that when it actually comes time to enroll. There’s also some freshmen smeezers starting drama with me and my SENIOR friends. It brings me back to eighth grade. Some people should grow up. Then again, I was really gay as a freshman, too, so maybe I should cut them a little slack and realize that I’m gone in 3 months, too short of a time to care. I think I discovered that I am lactose intolerant. I’ve been cutting down on dairy products [I love milk so it sucks] and my stomach hasn’t had half the problems it’s had in recent years.
The weather’s perking up and it seems like everyone’s moods are with it. I prefer the cold but I’m not gonna complain because I missed wearing shorts, even though some say 45 degrees “isn’t that warm.” I say PHOOEY to that. As it gets closer and closer to prom, I think more and more about how I’m probably going to be the only prom queen in history that couldn’t even get a date for it. If I can get everyone to vote for me for queen. Which I totally can. Leave me alone. An old friend of mine has pretty much given me the brush off for his new girlfriend who has had a well-publicized beef with me for awile. I’m over it. I’m over fake friends. Speaking of friends, I’m making some new ones this week. It’s not like I hate mine or anything, but I’m just all giddy with excitement at the idea of hanging out with these two people this weekend for the first time. I feel like a little kid asking kids at recess to play. But no one at recess ever played with me so this is better. ^.^
Basically, I’m real bored, have nothing worth talking about, this has no flow at all, and I’d like something to change my life a bit. I’m just going in circles right now and I wanna get out of it, even if it’s not bad at all. THE END.

Dear Bloggy,

March 12, 2010

I’m not ignoring you, I swear! I just am waiting for the right time to fill you in on my oh so very exciting life.

Went to one of the last shows before the venue here closes down, had a nice conversation with this dude and really liked this message and the free vegan food. Check it out if you don’t suck.


March 4, 2010

Oh Elie Wiesel, I love you and all of your work. But could you please write just one book that I didn’t have to reread every line of to understand? I gave up on The Time Uprooted for now. It’s too much for my overworked little psyche after reading The Judges. Butttt I did sneak a peek at the end and I liked this little guy:
“Someone should write the story of a man who has no story. It has neither beginning nor end; it is neither beautiful nor ugly, neither sad nor joyful- it’s just empty. Empty of life? Inconceivable. Nothing ever happens? Impossible. Since this man does exist, Death is waiting for him, so he must have a story, even if it is of no importance.”

Just like everybody else, I have my own little quirks, my own extreme preferences, and my own triggers. Here’s some I just thought of.

1. I’m 5 feet tall and about 109 pounds.
2. I plan on spending my life in Chicago or Boston,
3. but it’s not like I hate Pennsylvania.
4. Love dogs, hate other pets.
5. I’m an animal lover but not a vegetarian.
6. I don’t really eat fast food or pizza often because it disgusts me,
7. but I have a soft spot for Arby’s and I don’t consider Subway fast food so I eat that religiously.
8. I’ve also never eaten a fast food hamburger, or at Burger King or Wendy’s.
9. I have a skin problem that requires medication, which causes stomach problems.
10. It’s not a big deal, it just causes my stomach to growl all the time which makes people ask if I’m hungry a lot. 😛
11. My family comes first, although we don’t all have the best relationship.
12. I have an older brother who is one of my greatest influences,
13. although we’re complete opposites and have totally different values.
14. I am obsessed with Dr. Pepper.
15. The amount of Dr. Pepper merchandise I own is funny.
16. I enjoy dressing up but only when I want to, not when I’m told to.
17. My bedroom walls are a giant, collective collage.
18. Hopefully within a couple months I will have “stay true” or “stay free” tattooed on my legs.
19. I picked those specifically because I’m OCD about tattoos and need them to be “even.”
20. My iPod Norbert is my son and I raised him to not be racist,
21. so he’s full of everything from BTBAM to xAFBx to Gorilla Zoe to Mozart to Taylor Swift.
22. I’m all about acceptance and compassion,
23. but I love the music that preaches hate and violence.
24. I read books like I breathe and I see no reason to be embarrassed about that.
25. PA is cool because we have a pretty good scene here.
26. I go to a show maybe once every 1-3 months; I only go to ones that I’m really into.
27. I refuse to exploit people for a living.
28. I also would like to never be in debt.
29. Come August I hope to be leaving with AmeriCorps for a year. :]
30. I’ve never considered myself “smart” but I’ll fight you if you call me stupid.
31. Etnies are the only casual sneaker I’ll wear.
32. Pac Sun is my favorite store because they actually make clothes that fit me.
33. I’m told often that I have a big butt and thighs for a skinny girl. I enjoy it.
34. Being online doesn’t give people an excuse to type like idiots [in my opinion].
35. I do volunteer work every week.
36. I’ve been doing it so often, most people think I’m an actual employee.
37. This recession has made it impossible for me to get a job.
38. 08AMA all the way. Don’t care if everyone hates him now.
39. I’m pretty shy when I feel excluded in social situations.
40. I’m really talkative and personable in school and stuff, though.
41. My high school is one of the worst in the state, but I like it better than my old school.
42. I judge myself based on how accepted I feel by other people.
43. I lost count of how many plaid flannel shirts I own.
44. I wore plaid before everyone else did.
45. I don’t care at all when people liked stuff before “everyone else did.”
46. But seriously, it’s true.
47. Ryan Sheckler is both my current and future hubby.
48. Call me a hippie but I love the environment.
49. Call me a flirt but I unfortunately love attention from guys.
50. I try to be polite with everything when I can be because that’s just how I was raised.
51. I don’t have a cell phone and I’ve never owned a cell phone.
52. Technology pretty much ruined our generation socially so I don‘t really mind.
53. The majority of the time I am wearing brand-name clothes,
54. since I’m kind of a clothing snob,
55. and the rest of the time I’m wearing band gear.
56. I used to be a cool skater girl but in recent years I have tried to transition to girlier.
57. Truthfully, though, I’d rather wear a backpack than carry a purse.
58. I don’t wear makeup.
59. My hair is naturally awful and I have straightened it every day since 10th grade.
60. I regret nothing, look back on nothing, and am ashamed of nothing I enjoy.
61. I don’t really like the idea of having one friend that is above the others.
62. I thrive on change and get bored without it, but at the end of the day, I need stability.
63. I give my full heart into everything I do, always.
64. It takes me an incredibly long time to get over things.
65. I’m forgetful.
66. I trip over everything.
67. I don’t mean that in the ghetto sense I am “trippin’” over everything.
67. I’m the whitest person ever but I like to use words like jone and trippin’ and I like ghetto shoes.
68. Transformers was the best movie ever produced in history, let’s fight about it.
69. A lot of stuff that comes to theaters bores me.
70. Psych, Man Vs. Food, Man Vs. Wild, and Monk are the best TV shows ever, let’s fight about it again.
71. I’m trying to live a minimalist lifestyle but I’m materialistic so I need to work on that.
72. I am atheist, and oddly enough, didn’t actually like to say the word until recently.
73. I called myself an agnostic for a long time until Stephen Colbert said, “Agnostics are just atheists with no balls,” and I laughed and realized it was true.
74. My family is extremely Catholic and I have nothing against people who are religious, though.
75. I don’t believe in romantic “love” because I think it’s all a bunch of excuses.
76. I do believe that it’s possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.
77. When I’m tired, my eyes twitch.
78. Emoticons are cool.
79. I can’t stand the nice weather. I like the cold.
80. My feet are ugly and torn from working out so much. Over it.
81. I’ll act like you’re a brick wall if I don’t like you, unless I decide to call you out.
82. Secretly, I love art museums.
83. My heart goes out to inanimate objects in unfortunate situations, like the sock that never has a partner.
84. When I was a kid I wanted weird stuff and I got most of it.
85. I don’t look in the mirror when I wake up or when I walk past one.
86. It’s because I dislike vain people.
87. I enjoy Nike apparel.
88. I’m not one to put my personal life on display for the world to see,
89. but I am one to talk about the little things, like this.