So yeah.

June 7, 2010

Sorry guyss. Music’s all I have to explain myself some of these days.

“So give it up, throw your hats in the air/ And change just as they land./ You’re saying “We’ll get out of here.”/ Something tells me that you’re too scared to go.”

I had graduation today. My hat didn’t fit and even the mass amount of bobby pins stuck in it didn’t keep it on. For some reason I got a gown for someone 5 foot 3 so I looked ridiculous. I had to sit next to a really intolerable weird kid for the entire ceremony and my face itched a lot the whole day because my mom forgot to pick up my doctor-approved soap last night. The entire thing was so disorganized that we looked like morons the whole time. But in the end none of that matters. I have that diploma, signed and framed. And I may not have specifically worked hard for it, but I did what I had to do to get it, and therefore, deserved it.

Minus the minor bumps and bruises, it all went well. My parents treated me and my friend Hannah and my aunt Toni to Red Lobster and it was a wonderful time. I got to be fancy all day.  But that old friend fear is back in town for a visit. All that’s going through my head right now is, “Where do I go from here?” What if I can’t handle AmeriCorps? What if I don’t make it in at all? What if I die young? What if I die old? Who will I lose? Who will lose me? I thought a full-time job and halfway supporting myself being 18 made me legal. I was wrong, I am still a little kid right now. I know things will end up in the right place but when will that happen? I’m tired of wondering.

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